Sunday, December 30, 2007
1. ride long hills (2') in the saddle pushing it in zone 4
2. attack short hills out of the saddle building to zone 5b
Work HARD on climbs!!!
30 min. warm up starting in zone 1 for 10min, then zone 2 with high rpm 20-30'' accelerations building into zone 4
I did 4 x long hills with 2 min. recovery and 6 x short hills with 1 min. recoveries after.
In the middle of my intervals I had a 20min. rest at the top of zone 2 because I got a phone call I HAD to take with resulted in going out to dinner (cajun chicken sandwich and FRIES, ut oh, at Fiddler's Elbow).
<20min. cool down
I watched the movie Human Trafficking whilst working out and finished it when I got home. Pretty good. It said it contained disturbing or graphinc scenes, so viewers beware. Honestly, it was nothing in my eyes. Been through worse, unfortunately I guess. None of it was shocking to me. Period. Not to say that what happens to people that are trafficked isn't horrible. It is. What humans do to other humans in REAL LIFE in the name of sex, money, power is INFINITELY WORSE that what people do in movies.
Yes, I stayed up until 2:30AM not on purpose, but I was resisting taking my usual sleeping pills or swig of NyQuil (desperate, I know. GOD I just can't EVER fall asleep without help. I have been to Dr. after Dr. being given fucking Lunesta, Rozerum everything! I am on my drugged-sleeping regimen for 2 weeks each month then I go off so that I don't get dependent..but, oh gee it looks like I am! Fuck, I need help.)
Oh yeah, I kinda of maybe sort of ate an entire box of Dots whilst driving home from Blockbuster. I think I should be banned from that place. I think I'll put up a sign with my pic that says: "DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES SELL ANYMORE DOTS TO THIS WOMAN UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH!!!"
Wow, what a revealing entry this has been...
Saturday, December 29, 2007
I ordered a teriyaki chicken sandwich with FRIES!!! But for some reason my fries never came. Maybe it was fate. I nabbed a shot of Dewars (yummo!) right off the bat and then had a cosmo because I wanted the Grey Goose. Unfortunately there was no alcohol in the damn chicktini. Bastard Utah bartenders! Even though Coach gave me permission to drink (but not get smashed) I felt guilty afterwards. Mostly because I ate 2 squishy squishy rolls and the sourdough bun on my sandwich. I texted him and told him and confessed my perceived sins and then deabted over whether to head back to the Ricky and his boys' house for some beer pounding and familiar fun.
I wanted to go SO BADLY! God, it's so hard to reconcile the bad girl inside of me with the struggling athlete. I have so many sides that it's so hard to squelch certain ones at innapropriate times. When my hands are idle I cannot be predicted. Visions of half-naked girls on swings, bartenders pouring mouth shots at midnight, dancing on the roof of clubs, just rocking the ATL come flooding back to me...
I haven't been out in YEARS. My ex and I first became friends because we hung out with a bunch of friends all of the time. He KNEW that I was a social butterfly. Being with him for 4 years ripped that part out of me. He never trusted "other guys." Bull-fucking-shit. He was just an insecure pussy who wanted to change me.
So, I headed home and rode my bike.
FRIDAY'S WORKOUT: Recovery Ride
Now I'm off to clean for a few hours since I didn't do it last night. It's nice to have 2 flexible jobs.
I have a 4 day weekend now...I hope I can keep out of trouble until Coach returns on Tuesday.
The Guilt Sets In and my Chest Grows Heavy...
I'm feeling so damn guilty over eating last night. It was so reassuring that one of my teammates thought I looked smashing! He actually noticed my 15lb weight loss. He said to keep up the good work. I don't think he knows how much that meant to me. One day he will be a poster on my wall, because he'll be a Pro...even though he doesn't like to think of that because he is too modest.
I have 6 more lbs to go. It's so hard. Today I'm gonna' watch my eating VERY carefully.
Friday, December 28, 2007
Instructions from Coach: zones 2 & 3, Big ring, 2:00
I simulated this on my trainer using high gears. I warmed up for 30min and then did ~1:11 of climbing then cooled down.
Our team kits are here!!!!!! When do we get them oh my God!!!! The registration is open for new members on sportsbaseonline. Once you do that, thenyou can register for clothing on the Pactimo website. If you are one of the ladies joining my team this season, give me your email address and I can forward you the information/instructions email from Bill Cutting unless you already have it. This may be posted on the team website so check that too (see my link list).
Thursday, December 27, 2007
Instructions from Coach: 20-30 min warm up + 2 hrs. @ 20bpm below LTHR
I did it, it was great.
Mentally this was excruciatingly(sp???) painful, hard to focus for that long, watched Transition again, God I love 'cross, Geoff Kabush is a hottie....
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
I shoveled snow for 2 hours which was fine except that my lower right hamstring was tight and sore.
I worked out as soon a soon as I got home and during my warm up, my hamstring was warm and loose and the pain went away! I think that my recovery day Monday helped a lot.
TODAY'S WORKOUT: BT session, Hills
1-2'climbs in high gear that only allows 50-60rpms. Max HR is zone 5a.
I did 3 x 1', 3 x 2', 2 x 1' and then 2 x 2'. Rest was 50% work interval.
I got my HR up right away, it was easy. I didn't even notice that I was in high zone 4 and 5a. It felt great. Hard and controlled. I wanted to go for 2 hrs., but Coach said 60minutes!
FYI, whoever's interested, my team's new website is up!
I awoke today without setting an alarm which seems to be my new hobby. Feels great! I read some of The Race which I am obsessed with now. I drank coffee, putzed around...wrote a few scenes in Book III, yapped on the phone, etc. I didn't turn on the tv which makes me happy, except for the fact that I miss A Christmas Story somethin' awful! I love that movie. Each time I see it it's funny as hell.
I go to work at 4:20 (heh heh heh), not on purpose, it just turned out that way, and shoveled snow for 3 hours. I was pretty amused spreading that Ice Melt with that push-sprayer-thingie that looks like a wheel barrel. Thingy. Anywho, it's odd that they sell this stuff to people because I read the ingredients and it has basically salts. Calcium Chloride (CaCl2), Sodium Chloride (NaCl, table salt) and also....Potassium Chloride (KCl)...do you guys know what concentrated KCl is? It is THE euthanasia drug. Seriously. This is used to euthanize folks, mainly animals as I've used it before, a lot. Some scary shit. When they do lethal injection in prison you have 2 syringes I believe (maybe 3?). One makes you high/loopy and not give a shit/painkiller (I hope), the second makes your heart stop. It is probably a brine solution, lots of salts.
Okay, enough morbid-science-death talk.
The snow shoveling rocked because I got to listen to my iPOD so I was bopping and singing Rammstein while people stared at me and walked by on my snow & ice-free pristine sidewalks. No broken hips tonight! Some drunk guy (don't you LOVE the drunk guys stumbling around on X-mas?) kept trying to talk to me while he dug his car out. It was one of those "I've-never-met-a-black-person-up-close-before-and-I'm-so-excited-so-I'm-going-try-way-too-hard-to-relate-on-some-level" type of moments. He was nice, just creepy, stumbling and too happy to be interacting with me.
The only part about shoveling that sucked was that I forgot my GoreTex boots at Coach's training facility. I tried to be nice and wear my boots there Sun. AM, then change into sneakers to avoid tracking in snow and shit. So, of course it backfires and I left them there. So, my feet were soaked and cold. I gave up on them and just decided I'd chop and or gnaw them off when I was done should I discover that any of them had turned black....
After the snow shoveling, shit went down:
I did the usual cleaning rounds starting with garbage in both condo towers (7 floors each). Normally, fine. Check each floors closet, check the end of the chute on the 2nd floor, check 1st floor bathrooms and laundry rooms, then I'm done. Thirty minutes, max, right?
I was done with one tower, then had the 1st and 2nd floors left of the South tower and BAM! There were over 20 garbage bags shoved into the 1st floor closet!!! Fuck the chute! It must have been regurgitating trash so the asshole(s) just didn't use it, right? Oh my God! It was already well after 8 a nd I was looking forward to going home and warming my toes. I swear someone either got taken the F out, or just moved out between Saturday night and today. There was just waaaaay too much air freshner in the bags to be normal. Plus, based on the items sticking through the bags and poking out, somebody's entire LIFE was in those! Someone got jacked that's all I can say!
So, now that the shit was officially not down, but in the fucking fan, I conceded defeat and gave up on going home at a decent hour. I proceeded to stuff 3 bags a piece into larger ones and haul them all away one by one. Thank goodness I found a dolly so I could wheel 2 at a time to the dumpster. Whoooopieee!
But! An X-mas miracle occurred!
Whilst shoving like a million bags into the elevator, I heard a little girl's voice saying, "Grandma?" as she got on and off every floor. At first I thought I was hearing ghosts of little kids, you know? All those movies where's there's some scary little girl with a creepy high pitched soft voice and you know that the monster is like behind you, or under you, or she's the monster and shit? Right? So I ignored it but then was met by an older woman and a panicked mom hauling a baby around. The older woman asked if I saw a little girl. Ooh ooh! Me me me! I said no, but I heard her a few minutes ago.
Long story short (too late? God I love Clue.) They found her and I was invited to #606 when done. I figured it wasn't some "couple looking for a young woman to have an orgy with" situation so I went up at 9:30. All I can say is it rocked! This condo was FAT as hell. You could tell these folks were loaded. They fed me tamales and salad, fruit and all kinds of stuff. I left after eating because I knew I had to dig my car out to go home.
"ADDIE LOVES 'CROSS"
While driving down towards Wasatch (behind Hogle Zoo), I was still on Kennedy (Rd? Dr? St?) when I started swirling everywhere! It was bad ass (only because there were not other cars driving or parked, or any cliff ledges). I was not purposely spinning, but after floating around for a bit in too low a gear for the conditions and not braking, I did a total 360! I ended the fun by finally braking, stopping, and righting myself and Addie (my car, this is his nickname. His real name is Ad Rock, after my favorite B Boy). We proceeded to roll along in a higher gear or with the clutch in to keep the wheels moving. The rest of the drive was uneventful. Which was good.
I hope the fat man in RED gives everyone what the want, or whatever. He's got some hella weather to fly through first. I hope he's not touchin' the sauce!
Monday, December 24, 2007
Well, not really, I've accumulated a LOT of fatigue in my legs so, after my 4AM drive to PC and my self-imposed 5AM tortue session at Elevation for Coach, when I got home I don't remember much from then on until 9:30AM when I looked at my bed and magically was transported into it, beneath it's suffocating warmth...
11:45AM rolled around and I felt like a frickin' baby waking from a nap (minus the poo stink). I wrote forever, thought about going to lab, forgot about going to lab, turned the t.v on for a bit and realized that everyone seems to have a perfume for sale but me, napped more (read: was dragged back to dreamland by my comfy comfy chocolate brown courdoroy bean bag sofa), then decided to workout around 5pm.
CT (???) SE pops (strength endurance intevals with a funny name)
4 x 1' @ 130% threshold power with 2' rest @ 55%
7' REST at 55% with single-legged drills at 65%
2 x 1.5' @ 120% with 3' rest @55%
7' REST at 55% with single-legged drills at 65%
4 x 1' @ 130% threshold power with 2' rest @ 55%
So, since the total work session was 40min., I had no idea what to do or how to entertain myself until then......
I watched the movie Asylum for my warm up (heh heh heh) and then for the work and cool down I watched the 2001 TdF Stage 10 & 11 (12 too?), one of the ones where the Telekom riders look hot as hell (I don't care what anyone says, Jan and Vino make a nice sandwich...can you tell that I don't get out much???) and I can fantasize that there's no such thing as doping, no such thing as doping, blaaaaaaaaaaahh....
Not that I care anymore. As long as you look good and pedal a bike, I don't give a shit how you live. As long as you can sleep at night without nagging guilt, yeah, whatever beyatch.
The intervals were VERY challenging. It was like pedalling against bricks that were pushing back. I loved every minute of it. I hit my zones, did the work and felt satisfied with my performance.
Now, I am sitting here wishing to God that I could sleep and I think I just ate half a box of Triscuit Thin Crisps. Tomorrow I'm cleaning and shoveling snow for the old folks. I'll be shoveling X-mas day too if need be. I will ALSO be seeing, yup, you know it: Alien vs. Predator - Requiem!!! I actually don't have the money to spare, but, as I am in a PB&J phase, I've decided to live off of PB&J sandwiches for 2 weeks if I need to.
OOPS! I forgot this:
TEST to determine Submax power
Goal was 60min. at 80% of LTHR.
I was only able to do a 40min. interval which was fine because this AM Coach said I that could make it up to him today by adding time, or I can find some other physical torture to endure to remind me that I shouldn't cut workouts short, or skip workouts, or be a pussy in general.
I'm cool with that.
Saturday, December 22, 2007
I crawled into my comfy comfy hugs-me-when-I-climb-in IKEA bed and listened to my discman (do they still make these puppies?) and iPOD and listened to music. It felt great. I used to do this everynight when I lived alone in the ATL when I was at Emory for the first 4 yrs. of grad school. So relaxing it was. When I was coerced into cohabitiating upon my arrival in the SLC, I was forbidden to listen to it to help me relax and fall asleep. My ex would whine that he could hear it and he couldn't sleep, a nd he HAD to sleep well, or else HIS workout would be affected. Damn whatever I needed. What bullshit that was. He blared this loud as hell fan that sounded like a jet engine EVERY night. This made it even harder for me to rest. He never compromised on that. This is one reason why I began sleeping on the couch! (So much better.)
I finally fell asleep ~12:30am and was immediately knocked into a coma courtesy of some sleeping pills...
"I dreamed of working in a hotel (surprise surprise) and then I was suddenly near tents at a cross race. It was weird beucause Mistress Julie grabbed my arm and started drawing this bad ass panther picture with a black Sharpie! I said that my mom would beat my ass if she saw it (she forbade me to write on my skin, which reminds me that I need another tatoo!). She told me that I had to have it because I was going to do a fashion show any minute now. Then suddenly I was on some sort of wild goose chase through the hotel again. I was randomly picking up white towels outside of guests' rooms and tossing them in cardboard bins on each floor. Then, I descended flights of stairs and was in a lobby that was like mixed with an airport crossroads where all those damn signs overhead tell you which way to "Baggage Claim" and whatnot. I followed signs to guest rooms (why was THAT on the sign?) and soon found myself outside at a construction site with dirt paths and jumps everywhere. I walked about and turned back because I figured I'd taken a wrong turn when all of a sudden there were like dead and squashed rats (big as hell) placed strategically beneath me in the dirt. I had to walk on top of them to get back to the hotel...!"
What a trip, eh? I wonder what the significance of that was. If anyone can translate this acid trip for me it'd be much appreciated.
Ahywho, going to bed without setting my phone alarm and programming my coffee maker for 10AM was rad. I slept only 8hrs., but it felt like 10+hrs. I awoke at 8:00AM, daydreamed for the usual 30minutes and then turned my coffee on.
I hope this feeling carries through the day.
Today I'm gonna write until ~1pm (yes, I'm writing Book 3, why when I have yet to finish typing in final edits for Book 1 and have yet to type out Book 2? I dunno, ADD?). I'm heading to work (to lab) at 1pm to run some Morphine samples and then I'l go to the condos ~5pm the do trash and such, maybe mop, so I don't have to go in Sunday. I have a feeling this KILLER workout from coach Sunday AM plus my 2:30 crazy 130%-150% of some such power level and single-legged drills will put me out of action for the rest of the day. I must get an explanation of that workout from Coach soon.
I hope to GOD that Monday is a rest day.
30'' in a high gear allowing only 70-80rpm
shift up for 30'';
shift up again for 30'';
Repeat for 8-12 intervals.
I did 10. I almost stopped at 8 because it was 10:30pm and I wanted to go to bed, but I didn't want Gardie to think I wussed out. I'd rather sleep less and have him think I'm bad ass.
I warmed up for 20min. and hit these hard. I got my HR up rather quickly only because I ramped it up at 105 rpm during my warm up. I felt strong. Yesterdays recovery ride worked well. I was worried that my 2nd job might be detrimental to my recovery because I am standing, walking, bending, climbing stairs and hauling heavy stuff for 3 hours straight. It seems that everything is all good.
Starting tomorrow until 12/27 I will be shoveling snow when needed ~6:30AM in front of the condo towers that I clean for 50% more money per hour. Pretty sweet. A paid deltoid and lower back workout!
Coach emailed me today reminding me that I have "a killer strength training session" with him Sunday. Oh damn.....
Oh! I totally got propositioned by some 90 year old buzzard today. I think. I was on my hands and knees (no, get that sicko image out of your head fellas) scrubbing the elevator floor with some Pine Sol and the old crone hobbles into the elevator and rides it to his floor. He then asks, as he's attempting to put one foot in front of the other to leave, "Do you wanna come with me?" I was like, um, "No?"...freakin' question mark! I said it like a damn question! The ancient relic smiled and limped away. I continued with my work which was made worse by the pile of my own vomit pooling in the corner.
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Easy recovery ride in Zone 1.
I watched that cross DVD Transition. It was the best cycling DVD I has seen in a while. At least since Hell on Wheels. I don't really know what to think of Hell on Wheels anymore since the entire cast (Zabel, Aldag, Vinokourov) are dopers except for Kloden.
A pretty boring day.
I am still dreading waking up at 3AM Sunday AM to have my ass handed to me by Gardie. I hope to God I don't have to don that 20lb. vest. Ugh!
Driving home today from lab (< 4 miles) took like 45 minutes. I couldn't help but imagine myself riding cross. Who's up for a spur of the moment race tomorrow AM at Wheeler? Screw work, how can we let this perfect cross weather pass us by?
WEDNESDAY'S WORKOUT: MAX 5' intervals
30min. warm up
Coach was insistent upon at least 20min warm up and cool down. I felt that a longer warm up was fine if that meant I would get quality intevals, albeit maybe less intervals.
Oh! FYI, Coach wants to strength train me Sunday at 5AM!!! He's all like, "Okay BG, get your ass to bed early Saturday night!"
Now, I am not looking forward to having to leave the SLC at 4:15AM. As long as the roads are cool I'm be fine. Also, one of my goals this week is to sleep 10hrs. Thursday and Friday nights NO MATTER WHAT! Only the 2nd coming of Jesus is an acceptable excuse for not completing these goals. Or maybe if Rammstein magically appear in the USA and put on a show. I'd get there anyway I could ASAP and be in the front row ready to have my eyebrows burned off and eardrums split by the hard driving of Paul & Richard's shattering guitars!
Time for bed. I'm napping tomorrow after lab ~5pm to "make up for" too little sleep tonight. Yeah, I know that you can't really do this, but, I'm telling myself I can.
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
...me, 32 years old, still young, still fresh, cycling my frickin' heart out, training my ass off, with hundreds of dollars extra every month (w/o the 2nd job)! I'll be just like all you guys established in your careers, traveling to races, decent paychecks, etc. I could save for a new bike, it'll be great. I just have to suffer for a while first. I am HAPPY to do this for my sport.
It's funny...I don't believe that many people fully understand how serious I am about cycling. Either they don't believe in me, or, they think that since I "work as a scientist to pay bills" that THIS is my number one. THIS is my career. Well, I'm got news for those folks: I DON'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT SCIENCE, OR 'CAREERS,' OR ANYTHING! Being stuck in a lab, or in a job that you hate is NOT living. I am not going to be one of those people on his or her deathbed saying, "Fuck man, I wish I had tried to be the best cyclist I could be instead of pussing out because of my fucking job/significant other/family/you fill in the blank," or "God, I wish I had finished that book and gotten it published." I sure as HELL won't say, "Gee whiz man, I wish I had done that experiment, or had gotten my PhD so I could have 'P-H-D' carved into my tombstone!"
warm up with that crazy routine Coach has his folks do...
...walking lunges, more and more and more, ad infinitum
upper body and lots 'o leg stuff
Sunday, December 16, 2007
Being the angel that he is, he said YES! He wants to take it slow though. I was allowed 90min. (Ugh! Not even a workout!) in zone 3 (at least, thank God) with high rpms.
TODAY'S NUMBERS: Tempo ride
zone 2 ~12min.
zone 3 (156-163bpm), costant light sweating, 90-105rpm. for 60min.
zone 2 cool down ~18min.; 80+ rpms
An...okay workout. I wish I could've done more, it didn't even seem like I did anything. I really want to run in the AM. At least for 20min. We'll see.
I don't like being treated like I'm some fragile little girl the week before "you know what!" That's how I feel right now. I know logically that this is not the case! It's just that last year at this time I was putting in 10-15 hours a week, save for step back weeks, doing Base building and going to the gym to strength train for 1 hour, 3 times a week! I was lifting heavy to build strength. Granted, I was not riding above low zone 3 until maybe late Feb or March. So, maybe it is the intensty that he thinks is getting to me. I could see that. Oh well, I do trust what he tells me to do. It has paid off so far, seriously. I am actually surprised how I've responded so far.
Early this week when I had that day where I felt "odd," I know what it was now. I forgot to pop my meds! I become shaky (they are anticonvulsants, I used to have seizures when I was a kid) and nervous (they keep my thoughts from racing so I am not so ADD/OCD) when I don't take them. I am also forgetful too! It takes a while to get back on track. So, I am not overreaching, overtrained or tired. It's just obvious that working out and thinking are going to be affected when you've thrown your brain off balance. Duh!
And it doesn't help that I am also trying to lose weight. I am hungry all the frickin' time because of having a 500 kCal deficit every damn day! (some days it's more like <300...or 0...because I can't help it!) At least it's working. I am smaller than I've ever been (not like the cyclocross pics show this). I am concerned though. Being so much smaller than I was in school feels weird. (I was not chubby or fat in school). I wonder how much smaller it is possible to be. I feel my size 8 jeans getting a bit loose, but I don't know how long I can keep staying this size. Once racing starts, piece of cake! But for now, we'll see.
I also wonder if I should start eating pasta and rice regularly again? Maybe I don't get enough carbs to fuel the higher intensity workouts I am doing.
Oh, I MAY have gotten another job. I interviewed today. It's cleaning some condo complex right near the mouth of Emigration Canyon. So, close as hell to lab! I could get there right after work, too cool! It would be 3hrs. a day 3 days a week. It's just like my Turndown Girl (cute chick in French Maid outfit comes to draw your drapes, turndown your bed, and give you a damn chocolate for your pillow...pretty freaky if you asked me) job I had when I was younger. I worked during the day at a gas station (summer) and worked at this 5-star hotel 6-9pm, 3-4 days a week. I kept the job during school too. I will be glad to get back to working more, if I get the job. I want to pay off some debt (damn cycling, an expensive obsession) so once I end my coaching next year (boooo! I so don't want to!) I can pay off debt, and then hire Coach again in ~2yrs. if he'll still have me!
A tear is forming at the corner of my eye, so surreal, so incredibly aaaaaawesome!
I was watching the Chronicals of Riddick last night (mainly because of the scene where the Furian Necromonger guy walks into the searing heat blast and gets frickin' vaporized, gradually, as he is walking. One of the awesomest death scenes ever in a movie!), and I saw this trailer. I was NOT expecting it, but it had to be fate that I was watching at that moment in time. I cannot believe the X-mas present I am getting this year. Alien vs. Predator: Requiem comes out December 26th. I will be there at the Megaplex 16 watching the first showing. I will pack a lunch and probably dinner and watch this over and over and over again, until they drag me out with my eyes bulging from their sockets and my mouth babbling incoherently and drooling.
I will have the trailer up soon.
Saturday, December 15, 2007
I typed in some final edits for Book I, rewrote a scene in Book II and finished writing the plot cards for Book III. I also did 3 rounds of dishes! It's amazing how shit piles up! I didn't know I had so many damn dishes!
Oh yeah, I spent the necessary few hours on youtube.com mesmorized by various Rammstein performances.
I've been stuffing my face all day with graham crackers, Triscuit Thin Crisps, slabs of bread with Earth Balance vegan spread (I wonder what that really is...), frozen fruit and water smoothies, coffee, tea and anything else within reach...seriously. You'll never believe what else fell into my grip:
I took an f-ing pie crust from my freezer, left over from my bout of sweet potato pie creating for Thanksgiving, and thawed it on the counter.
Okay no, I'm lying, I didn't wait. I ripped off the edging and ate it like a crazy person! There's not even any flavor! Just like half-frozen tasteless dough paste. What the F*!K! I have gone officially mad. Who does shit like this?
To make myself feel better, I tossed some frozen mixed berries, strawberries and canned peaches in a glass dish, added some brown sugar, cinnamon and corn starch, laid the thawed goo beast of a crust on top and baked it until it browned. I took it out expecting an festering bloated mass of smashed berries and dough but it actually turned out okay! It's like a mixed berry pie with no bottom crust. Pretty badass if I say so myself.
So, I'm about to go back for more "made-up dessert," I should probably just grab the whole damn dish, who am I kidding? I know I'm going to eat the whole thing. I'm curling up on my bean bag sofa (God I love chocolate brown...which reminds me, thanks for the hat Bob! I actually really do love it!).
Tonight is all about me watching some Subspecies. That's right, I II III and maybe even IV. I dunno. I kind of want to get in one Hellraiser movie if possible. I've had some gnarly dreams of late about cenobites and such (google the word if you're not hip on that).
I hope anyone who's at the Cross nationals in Kansas City is rippin' it up! I hope I am that good someday....maybe once I learn to put down the pie and back away...slowly...
If only I actually had that damn bottle!
Thursday, December 13, 2007
http://saltlakecity.craigslist.org/etc/498021304.html or $5000+?
I could buy so many bikes...
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Because I have been forbidden to train for the next 4 days.
I feel like I'm being punished.
I know Coach knows what's best, he's a professional, he has tons of coaching and riding experience. It's not that I doubt his instructions, BUT...
How am I going to get through my "nervousness" from this week if I don't have my cycling? it cheers me up and makes everything all better!
What the deuce am I going to do?
No cycling, no strength training, no aerobic activity of any kind (I've been feeling like running again because I have so much nervous energy that I want to get out).
I don't know if I can handle this right now.
It's like, first I don't get the result I wanted at the race, and second, I am failing at my training. What else is going to go wrong???
You know what I'm probably going to do once he lets me loose? I'm probably going to ride all day on Sunday in zones 1-2, mostly 1, for hours and hours (more like 5) because I'll feel so behind.
F*!k it, I'm getting another job. I HAVE to eliminate some debt and I HAVE to own this beauty. I'm obsessed, I admit it. I can suffer for a while right? Work a bunch? That's what we do right, as cyclists? We suffer for a bit, then it all pays off in the end.
I hope it does.
Details: 8pm start time
My legs were burning as soon as I started pedalling on my trainer. Llike I already had intervals in them!
Warmed up for 12 min, with 2 bouts of 90+rpm, bringing my HR up to 150.
First two intervals I was attempting to get my HR up to just below, it was pretty hard. I couldn't get past ~152. My power spiked to ~180 for #1 and 185 for #2, then dropped off quickly as my HR dropped, but my cad was remaining the same:
The 3rd one was better, hit and maintained LT, but power shot up to ~185 and dropped off while everything else was steady:
The 4th and 5th were my best, I finally got just above LT; power still spiked ~185 and dropped off while everything else remained steady:
4. 100-105rpms, felt smooth & controlled, still challenging
5. 100-105rpms, same as interval #4
So, I think that the last 3 intervals maybe were not a bust in terms of HR and cadence. (After my workout I told Coach that everyting I did was shit, and the workout was a total bust). But, power was hard for me to maintain. I don't think this means that I am not strong, but, maybe tired? I just don't want to admit the I'm weak!
What's goin' on?
Something's really up with me, I think. All day yesterday my brain was like scrambled! I kept making stupid little mistakes while analyzing a butt load of data and would have to start all over. It's a good thing time is not an issue. This is SO not like me, at least never at work. I feel happy and normal, but I am clumsier than normal and just "off."
...I'll see how today goes.
Monday, December 10, 2007
After hitting the bank, Rite Aid and the dentist (money suckers), I headed to Contender to thank them for a wonderful holiday card. I always love going there. When I left I started to feel a bit weird. As I drove I started feeling nervous and shaky. Weird! I felt paranoid and stuff...crazy!
I got home and cleaned the hell outta' "Alexander" and did my recovery workout. I couldn't face going to the gym so I did a bunch of pushups, ab stuff and weight stuff like yesterday in between doing my recovery spin.
I watched Fantastic 4 - Rise of the Silver Surfer as I rode...oh my freakin' God! What did he RISE to do? Bore me to death? What the hell is with these movie makers? No plot, random "use of powers" that were not cool, Dr. Doom, who is so badass, did NOTHING but blast some guy with an energy field and split his parts off by turnign them into black dust. So? And this Silver Surfer guy...what a p*ssy! No plot! Too many characters, with zero plot. Who cares about a wedding between super heroes, they should stop doing normal shit and go save the world!
Wow. I seem to complain about movies constantly, and just look at the stuff I normally watch (see list on the right)!!!
MONDAY'S NUMBERS: Recovery ride
2 x 10min. bouts of ST stuff
10min. lower body yoga
Sunday, December 9, 2007
I hit the grocery stores since I got paid Friday. Does anyone notice how Albertson's seems to F you in the A with their prices? Why do I keep going there? I also did the usual bachelorette weekend routine and hit Blockbuster. Nope! No new Dolph Lundgren movies...aaaaaaaw. I needed something to entertain me while I rode my indoor trainer for 2.5 hours. SUCKS! I rented Spiderman 3 and Fantastic 4 - Rise of the Silver Surfer. (I wanted Goober's so bad, but all I could envision was Gardie making me do hanging leg raises over and over and over and over as he pokes my Santa belly and unleashes diabolical laughter.)
I popped in Spiderman 3 and got spinning. It started off so bad ass! The making of Sandman, the arrival of Venom, whoo hoo "I'm in for a ride!" Or so I thought. I was like, "Those nobs who said this movie sucked were smokin' some shit!" I was really excited to see what the new villains would do...
(This is the most beautiful picture I've seen in a while. Oh my God, so frickin' cool!)
I waited some more...
and I, yes, waited some more..., then considered slitting my wrists because it felt like my eyeballs were being raped.
What a shitty ass movie! What, did I rent Dawson's Creek, the comic book action version? GOD! This sucks because I ADORE Sam Raimi. Bless him for making Evil Dead, Evil Dead 2, Army of Darkness, Darkman, to name a few. But, who wrote this script? Beat them! Shoot them! Toss them aside!
After 1hour, I had to get off so I did some girl pushups, crunches, leg raises, hammer curls and front and side raises for my delts. I repeated this after the 2nd hour. During the last 30min. I started cooking the first real meal I have had in while: Tomato & Basil sauce on chicken breast (God bless tiny packets of seasoning, no thinking required), mashed yams (HEY! No, c'mon. They're good! Add garlic salt, a swirl of Maple Syrup, black pepper and a dab of Earth Balance spread, or butter if you eat that, I don't do dairy), and mixed veges ($0.84 at Smith's! F*!k you Albertson's!!!).
zones 1 & 2
Saturday, December 8, 2007
Okay, now that that's out of the way...
Since I don't feel like typing a lot right now, and I still have to get my butt to work, here's the email I sent Coach just now about how my race went down:
"First of all, THANKS for saying "Brandi Gorden's still on the course!" When I was in the finishing chute because I DID think that I was done! Not like it mattered since I was last, BUT, here's how it happened, AND why it should NOT have happened...
As soon as we started I felt very strong and in control. This course was easier than Wheeler, and I felt no fear on mud, snow, slush, you name it. I felt strong and in control like I could handle anything (as long as the path is not off camber, ha ha ha...).
I caught and passed the first woman and hammered on all the straightaways. I powered through the puddles and the mud. I felt like a great time trialist. I flew. This is where I was able to put time, even if only seconds, on the 2 ladies I passed.
As you saw, I caught up to Shana and passed her on the inside of the curving climb (see above picture) through the start/finish line. I did NOT mean to go so close to her, I veered accidentally. Thank goodness I did not make her fall! I flew down the hill and kept on going. She tried to catch me, but each time I heard her wheels and her breath closing in, I shifted up one gear and sped up my cadence. I got such a gap on her! I hammered and eventually I couldn't even see her after a while. But...
When I passed the barriers for the last time and that dreaded trench, or as I want to say, canyon of a dip (he he hee, my first crash!!! I should have lifted up my front wheel to clear it, or steered right of it as I did once), anyhow, I just popped!!!
As you saw, Shana (she's strong as hell! She should do strength sessions with us!) and that other woman caught and passed me, I was sooooo gone. I was bothered with not clipping in, but I did the whole race like that! I don't know why it suddenly got to me. I kept slipping off of the pedals but I trudged on. I cannot believe that this is the millionth time I blew up on the last lap of a race! I am not okay with this, Gardie, because I was killin' it the whole race! I felt like I was working soooooo hard, but I could handle it. My lungs were on fire, but I loved it!!! It made me want to go harder. My breath was fine, my legs were fine, not burning, not sore, not heavy, but I just couldn't go!
Here's what I think the main issue was, NUTRITION! Duh! Like a crit, I should've popped a gel ~5min before race time. Of course, other issues are to blame. If only the race were 30minutes long (no excuse for not doing better, but I totally want to hang on to this idea) I would have had 4th! God! If not for that last lap.
So, I was 6th, I was last. I haven't been last for a while. It is so demoralizing. I just want you to know, it's soooo important to me, that I could have, should have, would have done better! Logically, I know you're not dissapointed in me, but I feel like I let you down. You said that you had a feeling that I was gonna kick butt, and you were right...until that last lap. I feel like I totally f*!ked up. I know this is irrational (but I AM a chick, just kidding...but not really). I was so happy post race, not a care in the world, but as I drove home, sadness crept in and I felt like sh*t.
So, I need some words of encouragement. Your email about how proud you were with Thursday's workout meant a lot. It made me feel good, so positive. I need an email like that now.
So, I want revenge, Gardie, revenge! I am going to train for cross, more anaerobic intervals? Longer than 30 minutes? I will do better next year because I want to. I have to. I want to prove to you and to myself that I can. Cross is now MY sport. :)
FYI, I hit my highest HR during the race, 197! I have never seen my HR that high! Running, I have reached 194. I always figured that a HR that high would cause my heart to explode and my lungs to burst. Now that I know what it feels like, and that I can function with a HR that high, I should be able to race harder (crits and TTs should be my thing, I feel it). Thanks for making this my workout, honestly, I never would have done this without your support! I believe in your training, Coach, keep it coming!"
If only I could hold my cheapo crappy camera phone steady it wouldn't be so blurry! Alexander got jacked up during the race! Clumps of mud and snow in every crevice. He's so dirty and I love it! Since I catapaulted over my handle bars during the race, should I take him to the shop to be inspected?
In a perfect world, this would be great. BUT! I have to work today for 4-6hrs. Like I HAVE to. I have samples in the fridge waiting to be run on my instrument. The run takes 24 hours, and I don't know if anyone is signed up for Sunday. The last race is at 2pm, so it's over at 3pm. If I stay for the party, will I leave at like 4pm or 4:30? Then it's 45min. home...and I'm to lab by, 5pm or 5:30? So, I'm at lab until 11-11:30pm tonight. SUCKS!
I haven't paid for the race yet, so, if I don't do it it's not SO bad. They say they MAY postpone it, which they should! I don't want to hear stories of people getting hurt out there. For pete's sake folks, its only a race! Why has this Jon fellow been getting emails and phone calls about keeping it on for this AM? Do those folks have tanks? Not to be a beyatch or anything, but, there is always another day. The points won't change, things will be cool.
We can all...or at least you all, I'll be at work...relax and have a nice day off. You can all snuggle up in your homes, beds, on your bean bag couches and watch old school, ghetto action flicks! Stay in bed all day with your significant other and...you know...make a day of it! ; )
Yeah, I feel like if I don't go, I'm a wuss. But, will I be a smart wuss? A live wuss?
I'm just really worried and I don't want anyone to die on the roads. Cross is my new passion now. I love it more than road racing now. I want to be around to race next season though. That's more important to me than this last race.
Friday, December 7, 2007
Since I brought my "all the crap I carry around" bag and my gym bag, I just got to work at 7AM, so, I got to leave by 2:45pm!!! Whoopee! Like X-mas baby! I went to 24hr Fitness for an hour workout (legs have no pain, but feel weaker than normal).
STRENGTH TRAINING NUMBERS:
Down and back across the b-ball court...
1. Walking lunges, monster lunges, high knees, butt kicks (no, NOT a karate move, though it does sound bad ass), side steps with a band around my ankles, front and back skater-type sweeps with band. Ugh!!! And this is our usual "warm up" routine before he really makes me hurt!
2. bench press supersetted with upper ab leg raise/crunch things (like Rocky)
3. leg press 60 and 40 reps with various weights
4. seated row and...
5. stupid leg raises on that medeviel upright torture chair
I HATE that Gardie makes me suffer, whine, cry, whimper, quiver as I try to do leg raises so he can see the soles of my feet in the mirror opposite me. It's because my arms are so weak, I can barely hold myself up in those arm stirrups. I just hang there dangling my legs, flailing around like some derranged retard caught up in a net. (seriously!!!!) "Come on BG! Come on, 12 more!" It's weird b/c they only suck because they make me cramp "down there" if you know what I mean. It's just really uncomfortable and weird. Like someone has a damn voodoo doll of me and is like punching me in the hooha!
If these give me Brad Pitts abs, then, I love Coach for forcing me to do this. But, if not..... ; )
So, after I washed the AIDS off of my hands from the gym, I headed home and got on my trainer for a recovery ride. Mind numbing. I'd rather, as I told Gardie before, peel my skin off and jump in the ocean that ride my trainer ONE MORE SECOND!
Now it's 7 o'clock, and, as fate would have it...FROSTY is on! WHOOOOO! Leaving work early was a gift! I was done working out, and sat down to eat just in time for my FROSTY! I LOVE Frosty the Snowman...why? Ever since I was a kid. I remember around X-mas time (we didn't celebrate X-mas, long story, some other time...) being home alone with two of my brothers (or just one, long story...), mom MIA and the only solace was claymation Rudolf and Frosty.
Gonna curl into a ball on my massive bean bag couch (I look just like a lazy kitty) and drift into sleep (while watching Frosty Returns!).
Thursday, December 6, 2007
Today was a cyclocross workout. I was to do 20min. segments at an intensity of 80-85% LTHR interspersed with 1min. intervals at 130%-150% threshold power with 3min. recovery. I do not have power on my cross bike, so, I simulated race pace.
I rode to Wheeler Farm for a warm up ~30min. then for 30 more min. I rode along the muddt trails (some DEEP as mud!!!), snow, packed snow, slush, wet gravel, grass, hills, roots and the like. It was some kick ass fun! It was like I was at a cross race all over again.
I think I REALLY love cross. For real. When I rode home (~30min.) I noticed that I was covered in mud and...probably goose shit. I couldn't tell the difference. Pretty gross, but, I liked being muddy. For some reason I enjoyed playing in the muck. Is this what it felt like as a child to love playing in the mud?
Anyhow, I still have to wash Alexander off...of course in my shower.
mileage = ???
My soreness is subsiding. Cool.
Tomorrow AM I meet Coach at 7:00AM for a strength training workout. I hope to GOD he doesn't whip out that 20lb. vest...
I am scared for Saturday's race. Coach seems to want me to do well. Have fun, yes, but, I am now terrified of dissapointing him. UGH!!! I just need to NOT chicken out, and leave at 7:00AM, to get there by 8 and practice practice practice. I have never seen this course, so, hmm...
I mistakenly thought that the whole interval was to be 2hrs. straight, no rest. So, after a 30min. warm up and 1hr. into the interval, I started having trouble breathing. I felt like I was climbing Bald Mtn. when I passed 9000ft. I couldn't get any air into my lungs. They wouldn't expand to full capacity. I was really scared, began to feel light headed, saw bursts of light before my eyes...
I got off, used my inhaler and hopped back on in an attempt to keep my HR up. The inhaler was not working. I grabbed my cell phone and text messaged Gardie frantic and scared. Another 40min passed and then I got a response. I didn't want to disturb him in his off time, but I wanted to stop so badly, and I had to ask him what to do. He said that I was supposed to REST when I needed it! Damnit! I told you all that I was slow in the head! Not only can I not spot a finish line, but I also cannot follow simple workout descriptions.
I rested for 5min, then did another work interval for ~20min. I cooled down for only 2 min. because I wanted to get the hell off of my bike, curl onto the towel on the floor, and sleep for 1000 years.
This getting off work late is killing me! At least I was able to start my workout by 7:15pm. Ususally it's more like 8:30pm.
Will all of this be worth it? Will I ever see the fruits of my labor? I know that I am the Princess of Complaining, but, I wonder if this will help me for the season's races. I trust Coach's programs and I trust him.
FYI, I slept for 10hrs. last night! Granted it doesn't feel like it in terms of taking away my fatigue, I think it still counts for something. I am also still horribly sore from Mon. All day at work I was acccused of imitating 'The Duke." Being on the bike feels great, however, no pain, but walking and stairs...OUCH!!! I'm used to it though. Cycling = Pain! Er, rather...SELF inflicted pain. Coach is cool with it all. I like the way he pushes me even though I'd rather stuff my face with every food in sight, curl up in my bed and hide. Being comfy in bed rocks.
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
If I meet Andreas Klöden, if I get the chance to tell him in person how totally awesome he is, how great a cyclist he is, how much I adore him, that'll be the most badass thing to happen in life EVER...like EVER!
Recovery ride - zone 1 on trainer
Coach was kind enough to move a challenging CROSS workout to Thursday and move my Thurs recovery ride back to Tues. Today, though, I have 2 hr. workout ~20bpm below LTHR. I'll bet this will tire me a bit. I AM looking forward to it though. I think I'll watch a movie or something.
If I "sound" kind of down, it's because I am.
I'm sort of, I think, having a miscommunication with someone who is VERY important to me. It sucks, but, there comes a time in all friendships where you have a "test" of how far you can push each other, and then see how the other person reacts. Do you survive? Or pull apart? I am actually really confused by it all. I am the type of person who just pulls away for a while because I need space. Not to ignore the issue, but to figure out what I feel, etc. It's hard to pull feelings out of my chest. I also have so much on my plate, work and shit, that I don't really have time to sort through emotional stuff. I HATE emotional stuff. I have always been accused of being "THE MAN" in a relationship. Cold. Withdrawn. Devoid of emotion. That's just me. I do not scream or yell or throw myself at someone. I just move on because my life is filled with enough drama going on inside of my head that I prefer deflect outside drama.
I think this is one reason why I am a writer.
FYI, The outline for Book III is finished. It's writing itself inside of my head and my fingers are screaming to get it out. I know that once I start I will not be able to stop until it is finished. Will Coach understand that I'll need a few bouts of 12-hr straight writing sessions? This will be a challenge to fit training around it. They are both my #1 priorites. But, how do they fair against each other?
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
I DO NOT, however, regret buying my new wheels...hell no! They're Bontrager Race X Lite Aero...very sexy, though not as stimulating as my Mavic Cosmic Elites. (I'm obsessed with ~30mm rims) My road bike and I miss sporting those beauties. At least I get to stare at them propped up against the wall each time I step into and out of the shower! (Um...that sounds weird. My shower is in my laundry room--it's finished, it's nice--but I use it for a bike room. Screw a washer and dryer when I can make room for more bike crap!) I'm definitely gonna' use the Mavics whenever I don't have to ride with power.
Down and back across the b-ball court: walking lunges, monster lunges, high knees, butt kicks, side stepping with ankle bands, front and back sweeps with ankle bands.
Bench press: (bar) 3 sets of 10 reps
Leg press: 100lbs. 60 reps warm up, 120lbs. 3 sets of 40 reps
Upper Ab crunches (you know, like Rocky!) super-setted with bench press: 3 sets of 25
Seated row: 30lbs. 3 sets of 40 reps
Leg raises in that upright thingy that supports your forearms: 4 sets of 10 (I made SURE to "show the soles of my shoes" like Coach demands!) I expect my "Brad Pitt lower ab muscles" to arrive in a few months!
Monday, December 3, 2007
Sunday, December 2, 2007
Saturday, December 1, 2007
WOW!!! Cross is indeed the Sport of Kings...I can't say it enough! When I got to Wheeler I was amazed. Like a million feet of snow everywhere.
Cold, ice, wind, snow falling like crack from an addicts lip corner, crazy!!! I was like, "Is this a fucking joke? This is crazy!!!"
I rode down to Coach (there's him below on the left all bundled up!) and said, "Gardie, um...am I gonna' be okay?"
He laughed and was like, "Stop being such a pussy BG, get your butt on that bike and throw down!"
(Actual statement may have varied and been more like, "Yeah, you'll do great!")
"Yeah coach!" I retracted the balls he had just given me to keep them warm and mounted up! I rode one lap hearing that we were starting 10min. late. I was behind 3 other ladies but fell behind after a bit. I got back to the start and totally missed my start!!!! HA! I rode like mad, hammering as much as I could on the flat sections while fish-tailing. I countersteered and shifted my body weight every millisecond to keep the bike upright. It was SOOOOO crazy, scary and fun! I actually rode down all of the hills unlike last time. The key is to "let the wheels flow" don't lock them up by braking. At least for me this works. I was proud to get up the finishing hill on my bike each lap!..except the last lap, the final 10 feet I got off and ran. Then I thought I was done so I pedalled easily and asked if I was done. Some said "Yes!" Others were like "Dunno." Some said, "Keep going!" I rode on and a woman clipped me at the line, which was not a line, but an SUV. DAMN! Not like it matters, but I could've been 7th out of 10! I have NEVER had that option in my life! So, 9th last week and 8th this week. NOT BAD! I caught and passed 2 women eventhough I missed my start. I am proud and HANKERING for more cross!!!!!!!
I chatted with Coach post race. He is so great! He works constantly, every minute, I'll bet in his sleep he writes novels, fights crime as a masked avenger, cures hunger in parts of the world, fits in training rides and doesn't even know it! That's how hardworking he is! We'll chat soon about training and some apprentice to mentor questions.
I ran home to shower for like 30min. (so glad I don't pay utils), ate chicken noodle soup and went back to watch the Men's A race (35+ too I think).
Damn those guys are hardcore!
They go so fast!
I think this is Bart Gillespie (below, green kit) slicing through the snow like butter! Nice wheels!
The funniest part was when a Sienna Dev-Goble Knee rider leapt off of his bike to pelt everyone, mainly his other 2 teammates, with snowballs as they climbed up to the crowd, before the descent to the barriers.
He stopped one time, waited for his teamate (was it RB?), pellted him, then leapt on his bike and passed him while running over the barriers.
Then there was a bunch of back-wheel grabbin' on the run up.
You guys rock!
There's Art the giant (left) and I think that's Bart, one badass MF (someone correct me if I've got the name wrong).
Here's my teammate getting pummeled through the "snowball" section of the course!